Thursday, May 31, 2012

Epic Summer: The Iliad, post 6

Can we talk about the Cretins? People from Crete are called Cretins (maybe Crete-ans? I dunno, I'm listening to it) but it usually makes me wonder...why did "Cretin" become a euphemism for uncivilized dolt?  Maybe it has nothing to do with Crete.  I should look into that.  Later, maybe.

End of Book 11: They finally get around to talking to Patroclus and asking him to persuade Achilles to help.  Patroclus is all "but I can only do what Achilles tells me" and they're all like "EVERYONE IS HURT AND WE'RE ALL GOING TO DIIIIIIIEEEE!"  And so Patroclus goes off to do whatever he's going to do. (It's unclear in the book at this point, but I KNOW ALREADY, BOOYA!)

Book 12:  Apparently the Greeks built a moat and a wall to protect their ships, but they didn't sacrifice to the gods when they did it, so Zeus and Poseidon decide to knock them down.  Poseidon reroutes some rivers to wash it out, and Zeus does some stuff too.  I forget. 

But all that happens later (foreshadowing!) 

For now the Trojans are right at the door of the Greeks, banging on the wall, and Zeus is showing mega-favoritism to the Trojans which pisses off Poseidon, who decides to rally the Greeks.  But only in secret, because Zeus is a big bully.

Sidenote: I did not realize that "bite the dust" was a Roman phrase. In this book people are "biting the dust" left and right.  It's kind of distracting, because "Another one bites the dust" starts in my head every time I hear the phrase.

Also, I took the time to record the actual phrase used when someone dies (when it's not "bite the dust" or "a fog comes over his eyes"): "His armor rang rattling 'round him as he fell heavily to the ground."

I used my phone's speech-to-text feature to record myself saying that as I walked, and it was transcribed as: "His armor ring rattling around him as fell happily to the ground."  Gives it a very "Love not war" vibe.

According to Sparknotes, someone got showered with blood by Zeus during this book.  I...must have missed that.

Beginning of Book 13: Now there's more fighting and dying and regrouping and discussing of what happens next.  Poseidon's helping out the Greeks (Achaeans) while Zeus takes a little break.

Wednesday, May 30, 2012

Epic Summer: The Iliad, post 5

Book 10: It's nighttime and the Greeks and Trojans are antsy because their camps are so near to each other.  The Greeks send Odysseus and Diomed to go spy on the Trojans, and the Trojans send some guy to spy on the Greeks.  The two overpower the one, pump him for information, then kill him.

I notice a trend here where the Trojans always beg for their lives (cowardly!) and ask to be taken alive because they can fetch a large ransom.

Also Zeus is on the Trojans side.  Maybe this storytelling tradition is why we're often on the side of the underdogs?  (Because of Zeus, not because of the life-begging.)

On a side note, Homer may be a biased storyteller.

Book 11: More fighting and death, with occasional fashion interlude. I know that the describe what the people are wearing so that the folks listening to the story (without benefit of a movie starring Brad Pitt) can imagine what they look like. But it still tickles me when the badass warriors are putting on a fashion show while getting ready to fight.  (And this purple cloak is DOUBLE-thick, oh look at that skullcap!  All the warriors are wearing them these days.)

Also the language is pretty descriptive at times.  Like when some folks get their heads chopped off and Homer says "they are more use to vultures than to their wives now."

Harsh!

Anyway, we're not done with book 11.  More on that tomorrow. 

Monday, May 28, 2012

Epic Summer: The Iliad, post 4

I had some extra time and mindless tasks to perform today (cooking, cleaning, that sort of thing) so I listened to 4 more books of the Iliad (6-9). 

But a lot of what happens in these books is the tide of war going back and forth, so I don't have a lot of specifics to relate.

Here's what I do have to say (bolstered by the summaries I read on Sparknotes.com):

Book 6: We retreat into the camp of the Trojans for much of this book, showing confrontations between Paris and Hector.  Sparknotes says both Hector and Helen berate the cowardly Paris during this part, but I mainly remember the part at the end where Hector and Paris are buddies again and prepare to go kill them some Greeks.  Hector also talks to his wife and son here.  Humanizing!

Book 7: Time for another man-to-man combat to give us some relief from constant battle.  This time it's Hector stepping up to the plate, and although Menelaus is raring to go, it is Ajax who ultimately steps forward.  (The strong Ajax, not the other Ajax.)  Nobody dies, however, as night falls and apparently there's no dueling at night?  Also they decide to take a break the next day so everyone can bury their dead.  Holiday!

Book 8: So I don't remember much of this at all, and a lot of it is coming from Sparknotes.  Zeus forbids the other gods to take part in the battle, but then takes the side of the Trojans by sending lightning onto the Greeks.  Zeus: Kind of a jerk.  (Honestly, I do remember mention of lightning, but mostly my brain relates this passage as just a litany of fighting and death.) Then at the end the Trojans who have the upper hand at this point camp outside the Greeks' stronghold with a lot of campfires, to seem all creepy and powerful.  (I remember that part too.  Imagery!)

Book 9: Agamemnon is mega-bummed and wants to throw in the towel, but is then convinced by advisers to get back in touch with Achilles (remember him? greatest warrior around?) and give him back the slave-girl he stole and give him some horses and junk.  Achilles accepts his visitors (with best-bud Patroclus playing the part of butler) from the Greeks, but says he'd still rather not help, even though those are some pretty sweet horses.

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Now we're getting to the part I've actually read about in a couple of other books.  Patroclus is going to ::SPOILER ALERT:: fight in Achilles' stead and get killed by Hector.  Achilles, mad with rage, will then go to fight and kill Hector to avenge Patroclus.  Then he'll drag Hector's body around behind his horse, disrespecting the corpse.  King Priam will come to camp and humbly beg for his son's body back.

The story of Achilles' conference with Priam is told in the book Ransom by David Malouf.  It extends the encounter into a novella, plumbing the depths of grief and shared humanity.

The entire story of Achilles and Patroclus is told in the more recent Song of Achilles by Madeline Miller, which rewrites the story a little, imagining the two in what starts as a teenage romance, and then turns into a tragic love story after a few years on the front of the Trojan War.  All of the Iliad thus far is related in Miller's book, excepting the lists of names and all of the ins and outs of the battles.

I can kind of see why these authors want to look at these characters and situations because the rest of this is turning into a snooze-fest.

Epic Summer: The Iliad, post 3

 Paris and Menelaus face off, and Menelaus has the upper hand when Aphrodite butts in and steals Paris away in a cloud.  Menelaus is VERY put out and demands Helen back.  Aphrodite, meanwhile, is urging Helen to go see Paris in his bedchamber, because he's all hot and muscly. (No really.) Helen balks because she saw the whole battle and knows Menelaus would have killed Paris, but Aphrodite calls her a "bold hussy" and makes her go anyway.

Athena's getting bored, so she encourages a Trojan to shoot an arrow at Menelaus, assuring him that it's DEFINITELY THE BEST PLAN.  Of course, she then keeps the arrow from killing Menelaus.  But the attempt on his life enrages the Greeks so they all start fighting.  This begins a section of the story in which lots of people die, their armor rattling and clanging to the ground, or mists covering their eyes.  Often they are stabbed in the nipple or the groin, but sometimes in the mouth with the steel among their teeth.  Yeah, it's a festive passage.  These people have names, but I do not remember them.

Also there's an interlude on Olympus where Zeus and the gods are discussing what's going on.  The gods are increasingly involved in the battle at this point, and it's interesting the way the story is told that sometimes the gods can be some sort of metaphor or embodiment of a human quality, and other times they're definitely doing things.

Like, Ares goes around rabble-rousing in the Trojan ranks "in the form" of this other guy.  So the story could be that this other guy just got the spirit and riled up the troops and people later said that Ares was totally their in that guy's form. 

But Aphrodite at one point gets stabbed in the hand by a Greek (who Athena clued in as to the best Aphrodite-stabbing technique), and so...that's not very metaphorical?  At the time Aphrodite was also saving her son from the battle.  Because he had been crushed by a boulder, if I recall.

So here we are.  People are stab-stabbing away at each other, the gods are running around encouraging them in the stabbing, and Zeus and Hera are sniping away at each other on Olympus.

This is the end of Book 3 and the entirety of books 4 and 5.

Saturday, May 26, 2012

Epic Summer: The Iliad, post 2

So Agamemnon receives the dream from Zeus that tells him to fight the Trojans NOW NOW NOW and he is going to do that but first...decides to test his men by telling them he got a dream saying they should go home?  (This is the WORST plan.  I don't know what is going on in Agamemnon's brain.)

His men, being sane and wanting less spears in their gullets, are all about this and start heading for the ships. But Hera notices and tells Athena that maybe she should do something (do it yourself, Hera!) and Athena goes down and mentions to Odysseus that maybe this journey home is a cowardly and unwise move. (Odysseus hadn't been packing up, he'd been sitting in contemplation or something.)

So Odysseus goes among the men and says "HEY GUYS.  GET BACK TO WORK, IDIOTS!" and they agree that being cowardly isn't the way to be, plus there was that prophecy about how they'd be fighting there for 9 years, and in the 10th they'd win.  "It's only been 9 months, guys.  Seriously," says Odysseus.  (Paraphrase.)

Then it's time to get ready for battle, which means it's time to give a listing of who all is there.  There are a LOT OF PEOPLE THERE.  I was listening to names and places for twenty minutes or more.  Takeaways:  There are two guys named Ajax, one of whom is the BEST FIGHTER after Achilles (who is still sitting this one out), and the other one of whom is not.  So sucks to be that guy.  There may or may not be two places with the appellation "Haunt of the doves."  I hope there ARE two because I like to imagine the competing tourist industries.  Like the Original Crab Shacks at the beach or Original Pizza places in New York. 

Now everyone's ready, and we head over to Troy where they're also getting ready for battle.  They name off some of those guys (still a lot, but way less) and Iris speaks to Priam telling him to give a better pep talk to the men.  They head out to get ready and are all ready to fight when Paris (kidnapper of Helen) challenges anyone to a fight for the right to keep Helen.  Menelaus, Helen's husband, says "HELL YES!" at which point Paris backs down a little, but Hector (best fighter of the Trojans, son of King Priam) says "Dude, don't be a wuss.  I wish you'd never been born! You ruin everything!" and Paris pulls it together and decides that he'll fight like he said he would.

They get King Priam to agree to the terms (and tell the Greeks to stop throwing rocks at the Trojans) and also let Helen watch.  Helen, by the way, has been sitting in her room embroidering cloth with scenes of the battles to be fought for her.  Isn't that nice?

There are also some sacrifices of lambs during all of this.

In case you're wondering, this is all the end of book 2 and part of book 3.

Wednesday, May 23, 2012

Epic Summer: The Iliad, post 1

So I've already walked today (and as I did I finished The Zookeeper's Wife by Diane Ackerman).  But I've got the day off work, and I'm roasting some vegetables to eat at work over the next few days, which means peeling and chopping which = boring.

Perfect time to get started on my epic summer! (Especially because I've gotta be at work by 8 the next two days, and I generally can't get up early enough to walk on my 8 a.m. workdays.)

So I began listening to The Iliad.

First off, this thing doesn't start with an explanation of what's going on.  I don't know if they'll go back and discuss it, but it starts off with Achilles and Agamemnon fighting about Agamemnon's refusal to give a priest his daughter back.  (The daughter was captured as a sort of P.O.W., and Agamemnon wants to get busy with her.  He says he likes her better than his wife, Clytemnestra, which...is mid-life-crisisy?)  Anyway, because Agamemnon didn't give back the priest's daughter (even though the priest came and offered a nice ransom for her) the god Apollo is PISSED OFF and starts smiting the Greeks with shiny silver arrows and pestilence.  Bad news bears.  Achilles points out how Agamemnon is stupid, and Agamemnon says "Fine, I'll give the priest his daughter back, but I'm taking YOUR slave girl instead."  Achilles is all slack-jawed and says, "Fine, see if I fight in YOUR war anymore jackass!"

Achilles, like an asshat, then asks his goddess mother Thetis to ask Zeus to side with the Trojans in the war.  Teaching Agamemnon a lesson!  (And killing a bunch of people, which Achilles doesn't seem to mind so much.)  Thetis does this, even though it pisses off Hera, and when Hera starts complaining to Zeus about it he basically says he's going to smack her around, which pretty disturbing in terms of modern day gender relations, and her son Hephaesteus?* tries to make her see reason by pointing out that last time HE got in Zeus' way the top dawg of Olympus threw him out of heaven by his heel, wherein he fell to earth, which took a LONG TIME.

Currently, Zeus is fulfilling his pledge to Thetis (who is a sea-nymph, which is pretty cool) by sending Agamemnon a dream telling him to attack the city.

He does this by saying "Hey, dream, come here!" And then a dream comes to him and he tells it what to say, and then it goes to Agamemnon to repeat the message.  Being a god must be mega-convenient.




* - These names, guys, they are hard to figure out when you're listening to it, but I'm pretty sure I remember that name from reading the Percy Jackson books.  Yeah, I get my Greek mythology from pre-teen lit.  Watcha gonna do about it?  Actually I also got some of it from a recent reading of Song of Achilles which is a book detailing the love of Achilles and Patroclus, imagining that instead of just being friends they are, you know...FRIENDS.  Anyway, it's amazing how much of this story is just part of our cultural conversation even after a lot of centuries.

Epic Summer: The Iliad, The Odyssey, Ulysses

Last summer I started walking in the mornings before work, which I'm still doing fairly regularly.  (Go me.)

At first I was listening to music, but because I'm not typically a music person (in that I don't follow trends and know about new bands) the work it took to find music that was good and find enough of it that I wouldn't get bored listening to it for an hour every day was just too much.  (Find me a fainting couch!)

That's when I started listening to audiobooks while walking.  I already listened to them on the way to work, so this means I'm doing double time on my reading (listening) in addition to the other books that I'm reading with my eyeballs.  (My reading goal of 100 books is in the bag this year.)  Fortunately my library has a pretty good collection of downloadable audiobooks (or CD audiobooks if I take the time to copy them onto my computer and transfer them to my MP3 player), so I was learning things and having a good time while getting some physical activity in.  (Go me: redux.)

This weekend at work I was looking for my next downloadable audiobook and I saw someone had just returned Ulysses by James Joyce. And I figured...hey, I'll give it a shot.  Not like I'm ever going to read the thing, right? Then my boss pointed out that it's structured around the story of the Odyssey, and I figured maybe I should listen to that first. But if I'm going to do that, then why not listen to the Iliad as well?

And so.

I decided to embark upon an EPIC SUMMER full of Trojans and Monsters and ending with...DUBLIN. Will I survive? Will I quit after one day of some guy droning on about how Achilles thinks Agamemnon is a jerk?

Time will tell.