Which world map should I buy?
To display in my living room above the fireplace, or in the guest room if it turns out I don't like it there.
1.
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4.
5.
6.
Saturday, July 13, 2013
Wednesday, June 27, 2012
Epic Summer: The Odyssey, post 5
Short on time, so this'll be brief.
Book 11: Odysseus is hanging out in Hades, talking to the dead as they drink the blood he sacrificed. He hears that he'll make it home, but he'll go through more trials first. He sees old friends like Achilles and Ajax (and his friend who fell off the roof of the boat a little bit earlier) and then the dead are just SO PUSHY with their gibbering that he goes away after looking at Tantalus, who wants to eat and drink so much, but every time he reaches for the grapes around him they retreat. Hades: Not a great place for a vacation.
In the middle of this story Odysseus tries to beg of and go to sleep, but his hosts cry MORE, MORE and he continues.
Book 11: Odysseus is hanging out in Hades, talking to the dead as they drink the blood he sacrificed. He hears that he'll make it home, but he'll go through more trials first. He sees old friends like Achilles and Ajax (and his friend who fell off the roof of the boat a little bit earlier) and then the dead are just SO PUSHY with their gibbering that he goes away after looking at Tantalus, who wants to eat and drink so much, but every time he reaches for the grapes around him they retreat. Hades: Not a great place for a vacation.
In the middle of this story Odysseus tries to beg of and go to sleep, but his hosts cry MORE, MORE and he continues.
Monday, June 25, 2012
Epic Summer: The Odyssey, post 4
Book 9: Odysseus' story begins with some pillaging, but that gets old when the people they're pillaging turn on them, so they hit to road (ocean) and end up in the land of the lotus-eaters. Some of the men go on shore and eat some lotus and forget about home, so Odysseus goes to get them, ties them up, and puts them under benches on the ship. Given what happens to his men during the rest of this voyage, I bet his men would have rather stayed with the lotus eaters. Then they go meet the Cyclops in his cave. You know the drill. The Cyclops bashes out brains and eats some of the men. Odysseus gets him drunk, tells him his name is "No man." Then when the giant falls asleep the men put out his eye with a burning-hot stick. (Twisting it around real good, according to the story.) When the Cyclops cries for help the other giants ask who did it, and he says "No man" and they laugh and go away, thus proving that Cyclopeans are EASILY undone by wordplay. Then Odysseus and his men climb under some sheep and escape the cave in the morning, taunting the giant when they're safely afloat in the sea.
Book 10: Now the surviving members sail to Aeolia and the ruler there (Aeolus) gives them a bag of wind. They get to within a few miles of Ithaca (HOME!) when the soldiers get greedy, thinking there's gold in the bag, then open it only to be blown back by all the wind to Aeolia, where Aeolus says "Okay, obviously the gods hate you, so I'm not helping anymore. Peace out."
Then they go to another cannibal country where a king and mountainous queen eat the men until they flee to the ships, but even when there the giants are throwing rocks at them. Every ship is sunk except for the one carrying Odysseus. (Again, why couldn't he have left those guys with the lotus eaters?)
Now they sail to the island of Circe, where she turns some of the men into pigs. Odysseus, with the help of Hermes, gets them turned back into men (younger, hotter men at that) and they all live a life of luxury with Circe for a year until them men point out to Odysseus that maybe they should go home. Circe tells them that to get home they have to sail to Hades first and talk to some dead guy, who must be really bored because he's the only dead guy who still has any sense of his old self in Hades. When they get on the way, a young guy who was drunk from the night before is startled awake and falls off a roof, breaking his neck. He goes to Hades a little quicker than the rest of them.
Book 10: Now the surviving members sail to Aeolia and the ruler there (Aeolus) gives them a bag of wind. They get to within a few miles of Ithaca (HOME!) when the soldiers get greedy, thinking there's gold in the bag, then open it only to be blown back by all the wind to Aeolia, where Aeolus says "Okay, obviously the gods hate you, so I'm not helping anymore. Peace out."
Then they go to another cannibal country where a king and mountainous queen eat the men until they flee to the ships, but even when there the giants are throwing rocks at them. Every ship is sunk except for the one carrying Odysseus. (Again, why couldn't he have left those guys with the lotus eaters?)
Now they sail to the island of Circe, where she turns some of the men into pigs. Odysseus, with the help of Hermes, gets them turned back into men (younger, hotter men at that) and they all live a life of luxury with Circe for a year until them men point out to Odysseus that maybe they should go home. Circe tells them that to get home they have to sail to Hades first and talk to some dead guy, who must be really bored because he's the only dead guy who still has any sense of his old self in Hades. When they get on the way, a young guy who was drunk from the night before is startled awake and falls off a roof, breaking his neck. He goes to Hades a little quicker than the rest of them.
Sunday, June 24, 2012
Epic Summer: The Odyssey, post 3
Book 6: Athena gives Princess Nausicaa a dream that she should go do laundry. (What a crappy dream.) Nausicaa wakes up, looks around, and decides laundry is probably the best idea. So she goes, but while she's washing clothes a naked Odysseus (covered with a skimpy tree branch. rawr.) comes and asks for help. She leads him into the city after giving him some clothes. He also takes a bath after which Athena makes him mega-hot with her god powers.
Book 7: Odysseus makes it to the palace and everybody's having a pretty okay time talking to the stranger who won't say what his name is, but verifies he's not a god. The Queen recognizes the clothes he's wearing and is all "So what's up with you wearing those clothes that I made myself?" and Odysseus tells the story of his flight from Calypso and meeting with Nausicaa. Then the King apparently offers his daughter's hand in marriage to the nameless stranger. (I don't remember that last part, but Sparknotes says it happened.) Also Odysseus cries while someone tells the story of how he argued with Achilles at Troy.
Book 8: I got some information about the Wooden Horse! I dunno if Sparknotes was confused earlier, or if they just double up on the story, but they definitely mentioned the Wooden Horse in this book. And that's all that I remember.
Not really. There were also some games. The young men taunted Odysseus. saying he should compete even though he's an old man, and he showed them good. Nobody messes with Odysseus.
And then we got the song about the wooden horse. Odysseus cries again. The King is finally all "WHAT IS UP WITH YOU CRYING WHEN WE SING ABOUT THE TROJAN WAR?" And the next chapter should be Odysseus' answer to that I believe.
Book 7: Odysseus makes it to the palace and everybody's having a pretty okay time talking to the stranger who won't say what his name is, but verifies he's not a god. The Queen recognizes the clothes he's wearing and is all "So what's up with you wearing those clothes that I made myself?" and Odysseus tells the story of his flight from Calypso and meeting with Nausicaa. Then the King apparently offers his daughter's hand in marriage to the nameless stranger. (I don't remember that last part, but Sparknotes says it happened.) Also Odysseus cries while someone tells the story of how he argued with Achilles at Troy.
Book 8: I got some information about the Wooden Horse! I dunno if Sparknotes was confused earlier, or if they just double up on the story, but they definitely mentioned the Wooden Horse in this book. And that's all that I remember.
Not really. There were also some games. The young men taunted Odysseus. saying he should compete even though he's an old man, and he showed them good. Nobody messes with Odysseus.
And then we got the song about the wooden horse. Odysseus cries again. The King is finally all "WHAT IS UP WITH YOU CRYING WHEN WE SING ABOUT THE TROJAN WAR?" And the next chapter should be Odysseus' answer to that I believe.
Saturday, June 23, 2012
Epic Summer: The Odyssey, post 2
Ok, so I took a couple of weeks off of walking in the mornings for reasons related to sloth and moral turpitude.
But we're back!
Though I was kind of fuzzy.
Book 4: What I remember from this book is mainly Telemachus and his buddy showing up at Menelaus and Helen's house, where they're having a party. Menelaus relates his journey from Troy, and laments the unknown fate of Odysseus. Telemachus cries about it.
Sparknotes tells me that Menelaus mentioned the Wooden Horse! But apparently I wasn't paying attention at that point, because I do not remember it. I'm pretty bummed about it. I could go back and listen to book for again, but instead I'll not do that.
I do remember a fun story where he has to wrestle with Poseidon (who is a shifty shape-shifter) after catching him asleep among a bunch of seals. (And the strong scent of the briny deep.)
Back at Odysseus' house, the suitors discover Telemachus is gone and plan to kill him on his way back into town. Penelope is against the idea, and laments, but Athena (in disguise) comes to her and tells her to calm down because a god is on her son's side.
Book 5: Now we're on Olympus and Athena is bringing the case of the kidnapped Odysseus before the gods once more. They eventually agree that Calypso is kind of an asshole, so they tell her to give up Odysseus. She whines about it, but complies, even giving the hero a raft and some wine. He sets off, but just when he's about to reach land Poseidon (who hates Odysseus...I forget why...maybe I should go back and read what I wrote in the previous entry) sees him and sends a GIANT WAVE to crash the boat. Odysseus is forced to swim for his life. A river actually lets him swim upstream, which is nice of it. And so he reaches land.
___________________________________
I'm happy we're finally dealing with Odysseus, because Telemachus is nice and all but the story is the Odyssey not the Telemachinery.
But we're back!
Though I was kind of fuzzy.
Book 4: What I remember from this book is mainly Telemachus and his buddy showing up at Menelaus and Helen's house, where they're having a party. Menelaus relates his journey from Troy, and laments the unknown fate of Odysseus. Telemachus cries about it.
Sparknotes tells me that Menelaus mentioned the Wooden Horse! But apparently I wasn't paying attention at that point, because I do not remember it. I'm pretty bummed about it. I could go back and listen to book for again, but instead I'll not do that.
I do remember a fun story where he has to wrestle with Poseidon (who is a shifty shape-shifter) after catching him asleep among a bunch of seals. (And the strong scent of the briny deep.)
Back at Odysseus' house, the suitors discover Telemachus is gone and plan to kill him on his way back into town. Penelope is against the idea, and laments, but Athena (in disguise) comes to her and tells her to calm down because a god is on her son's side.
Book 5: Now we're on Olympus and Athena is bringing the case of the kidnapped Odysseus before the gods once more. They eventually agree that Calypso is kind of an asshole, so they tell her to give up Odysseus. She whines about it, but complies, even giving the hero a raft and some wine. He sets off, but just when he's about to reach land Poseidon (who hates Odysseus...I forget why...maybe I should go back and read what I wrote in the previous entry) sees him and sends a GIANT WAVE to crash the boat. Odysseus is forced to swim for his life. A river actually lets him swim upstream, which is nice of it. And so he reaches land.
___________________________________
I'm happy we're finally dealing with Odysseus, because Telemachus is nice and all but the story is the Odyssey not the Telemachinery.
Saturday, June 9, 2012
Epic Summer: The Odyssey, post 1
And so begins The Odyssey.
Book 1: It turns out that on his way back from Troy (the war there having ended...even though it didn't end during the Iliad...but whatever) Odysseus was waylaid by the nymph Calypso on an island. Back home his son Telemachus has become a man, but doesn't know his father. What he DOES know is that a bunch of jerks are trying to woo his mother and eating all their goats. ALL OF THEIR GOATS. Athena takes the form of a family friend and comes to tell Telemachus that his father is not dead, and to encourage him to take a journey to find out the truth. Telemachus, tired of the jerks, calls a council of the suitors and elders of the city and asks the jerks to cut the crap.
Book 2: But the elders are also jerks, it turns out. They blame Penelope, who pretended to weave a burial shroud for Laertes for three years (unraveling it each night so she'd never finish). Of course, really this means that the city is full of dummies who think it takes three years to weave a shroud. (On the subject of Penelope, she's probably a little miffed at Telemachus, who's getting kind of mouthy now that he has a god behind him.) So Athena arranges a ship for Telemachus and he goes on a journey to Pylos (to find Nestor) and to Sparta (to find Menelaus) and ask for rumors about his father's fate.
Book 3: By the way, the friend Athena is impersonating is called Mentor. I wonder if that's where the word comes from, or if it's just an EXTREME lack of subtlety.
By now they're in Pylos asking Nestor for help. (But first there's a scene in which they have a feast to honor Poseidon. Athena takes a cup and prays to Poseidon, which must be kinda neat for him. I mean, how many gods get prayed to by other gods?) Nestor doesn't know what happened to Odysseus, because he left with Menelaus and Odysseus stayed behind with Agamemnon. Agamemnon, by the way, is TOTES DEAD because while he was gone his wife married this other guy, and the other guy decided to murder Agamemnon when he came back home. Fortunately, Agamemnon's son avenged him. Nestor hopes Telemachus can avenge Odysseus too. "Thanks?" says Telemachus.
Then Nestor sends his son with Telemachus on the journey to Sparta. Athena stays behind.
Book 1: It turns out that on his way back from Troy (the war there having ended...even though it didn't end during the Iliad...but whatever) Odysseus was waylaid by the nymph Calypso on an island. Back home his son Telemachus has become a man, but doesn't know his father. What he DOES know is that a bunch of jerks are trying to woo his mother and eating all their goats. ALL OF THEIR GOATS. Athena takes the form of a family friend and comes to tell Telemachus that his father is not dead, and to encourage him to take a journey to find out the truth. Telemachus, tired of the jerks, calls a council of the suitors and elders of the city and asks the jerks to cut the crap.
Book 2: But the elders are also jerks, it turns out. They blame Penelope, who pretended to weave a burial shroud for Laertes for three years (unraveling it each night so she'd never finish). Of course, really this means that the city is full of dummies who think it takes three years to weave a shroud. (On the subject of Penelope, she's probably a little miffed at Telemachus, who's getting kind of mouthy now that he has a god behind him.) So Athena arranges a ship for Telemachus and he goes on a journey to Pylos (to find Nestor) and to Sparta (to find Menelaus) and ask for rumors about his father's fate.
Book 3: By the way, the friend Athena is impersonating is called Mentor. I wonder if that's where the word comes from, or if it's just an EXTREME lack of subtlety.
By now they're in Pylos asking Nestor for help. (But first there's a scene in which they have a feast to honor Poseidon. Athena takes a cup and prays to Poseidon, which must be kinda neat for him. I mean, how many gods get prayed to by other gods?) Nestor doesn't know what happened to Odysseus, because he left with Menelaus and Odysseus stayed behind with Agamemnon. Agamemnon, by the way, is TOTES DEAD because while he was gone his wife married this other guy, and the other guy decided to murder Agamemnon when he came back home. Fortunately, Agamemnon's son avenged him. Nestor hopes Telemachus can avenge Odysseus too. "Thanks?" says Telemachus.
Then Nestor sends his son with Telemachus on the journey to Sparta. Athena stays behind.
Friday, June 8, 2012
Epic Summer: The Iliad, post 11
Book 23: So Patroclus is dead. And now that Hector is also dead, it's time to burn Patroclus' body on a pyre. (Especially since his ghost appeared to Achilles asking to be buried so he can get inside the gates of Hades, before disappearing into the ground "gibbering and whining." Being a ghost appears to suck.) So they burn the body (along with some lambs and 12 captured Trojans, giving the whole thing a creepy human sacrifice vibe)
Then, as part of the funeral celebration, they hold some manly competitions? Horse-racing and wrestling and sprinting and boxing. I imagine it's all very oily and virile. There are some arguments over prizes and some instances of cheating. Also at one point we're told that first prize is a tripod (for burning things over a fire) and second prize is a woman skilled in all of the arts, and then told that first prize is worth 12 oxen and second prize is worth 4 oxen. So...slaves really don't count for much among the Greeks, it seems. Which is disturbing as well.
Book 24: Now it's time for King Priam to come before Achilles asking for mercy and to get back the body of his son Hector. (All of this happens after the gods arrange it.) The king's wife is against it, but he goes anyway and Achilles is moved by the King's plight. It's a weird scene because these two guys who have been part of this huge battle are sitting in a tent together talking about how so many people have died and how life is short and hard, but what are you going to do? Keep on trucking, seems to be the answer.
So Priam ransoms Hector's body, Achilles gives the Trojans 9 battle-less days to properly mourn Hector.
And...that's the end.
No really, that's the end. NOTHING ELSE HAPPENS. If I had to write an essay about the Iliad I would give it this title:
WHERE IS THE DAMN WOODEN HORSE?
Then, as part of the funeral celebration, they hold some manly competitions? Horse-racing and wrestling and sprinting and boxing. I imagine it's all very oily and virile. There are some arguments over prizes and some instances of cheating. Also at one point we're told that first prize is a tripod (for burning things over a fire) and second prize is a woman skilled in all of the arts, and then told that first prize is worth 12 oxen and second prize is worth 4 oxen. So...slaves really don't count for much among the Greeks, it seems. Which is disturbing as well.
Book 24: Now it's time for King Priam to come before Achilles asking for mercy and to get back the body of his son Hector. (All of this happens after the gods arrange it.) The king's wife is against it, but he goes anyway and Achilles is moved by the King's plight. It's a weird scene because these two guys who have been part of this huge battle are sitting in a tent together talking about how so many people have died and how life is short and hard, but what are you going to do? Keep on trucking, seems to be the answer.
So Priam ransoms Hector's body, Achilles gives the Trojans 9 battle-less days to properly mourn Hector.
And...that's the end.
No really, that's the end. NOTHING ELSE HAPPENS. If I had to write an essay about the Iliad I would give it this title:
WHERE IS THE DAMN WOODEN HORSE?
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